This is so far one of the shittiest weeks ever

It probably started out with the sketchy sushi place. Last week was a pretty intense sushi week. Gloria took us out on Thursday, Luke and Cathy took us out on Friday, then we went out on our own on Sunday. I've eaten a lot of sushi in my time, and I think I have become a little reckless with my sushi consumption. Though I prattle and preach about the dangers of eating at a bad sushi restaurant, the truth is that I don't really think I'll get sick. I've never gotten sick off of sushi before.

On Thursday, we went to Crazy Sushi. It's a great place, a little on the pricey side, but clean and delicious. On Friday, we went to Sakura. Eric had discovered Sakura during his lunchtime quests to bring me sushi rolls. The rolls had been decent, so we decided to go to the restaurant proper for dinner. I walked in and was immediately sketched out. The carpets were very dirty. I think the words I'm looking for are "horribly filthy". But it was busy, and we were there with Luke and Cathy, plus we had eaten their rolls for lunch and never gotten sick. So we trekked on, ate a delicious dinner, then went home to watch Gone with the Wind, which Luke was finally made to understand, is NOT a musical, and NOT to be confused with The Sound of Music. No problems.

On Sunday, after a weekend of working at the wedding show out by the airport for our wedding photographer Janet, we wanted sushi again. I was on a wasabi rampage. So we decided with a shrug to go back to Sakura. It was run by Korean people, so they gave you kimchi and a bunch of other free appetizers to go with your meal.

This time, I had to go pee really badly, so I went before we ordered. And oh LORD the washroom was nasty. And here's the particularly disgusting part. which I haven't even told Eric yet - there was NO SOAP BY THE SINK. I shit you not. I was very tired and very hungry and very stupid, so something prevented me from insisting that we leave right away. So I got some Purell out of my purse, we stayed, we ordered, we ate. Nothing tasted weird, though to be fair, I drenched everything in wasabi.

About an hour and a half later, I was feeling weird. Not puking weird, but a little achey in the tummy, with a headache, and a funny feeling about my body. I went poo right before bed. My poo smelled like cow manure. It was gross.

I had a terrible night. I tossed and turned and kept having weird vivid dreams. In the morning, I felt horrible all over. But I was very tired and very stupid, and I got in the shower, got dressed. I got a stomache ache right before I left the house, and went to the washroom. I was greeted by the gross feeling of chunky liquid poo squirting out of my butt in a continuous stream, then I went to work. At work, my stomach churned as my head throbbed and my body ached. I went to the washroom, and the feeling of pulling down my underwear felt as though I was dragging a brush made out of small sharp needles across my hips. This was followed by more squirting liquid chunky poo. I whimpered at my desk and did my work. Then, as pains started shooting up my abdomen, I decided fuck it, I'm going home.

At home, I slept all afternoon and woke up with a fever, and a body so hurty that sitting down perfectly still was painful. I forced Eric to gently massage my feet, my calves, my thighs, my hands, over and over again to try to make them feel better. I went poo, and it smelled like vomit. LIKE VOMIT!!! It was disgusting. I told Eric he should go and smell it. He declined.

This morning, I was awoken with a giant giant stomach ache. It felt like something with sharp tentacles was pulling at my insides from all angles. I went poo. It was drippy and nasty and continuous and my stomach ache would not go away. I tried to go back to sleep, but was awoken every 20 minutes or so by the pain, and had to go sit on the toilet for ten minutes, crying. This continued until about 1:30pm. Then the pain subsided, and I only had to go to the washroom every 2 hours or so.

Then Eric came home and fussed over me. I was just starting to feel cherished and cared for when someone in the building decided they hated me and did something to set off the fire alarms. The loud blaring sounds cut through my headache, straight into my brain where they proceeded to rape and pillage everything they touched. On and off and on and off for about 15 minutes. Then the firetrucks came, and said they were investigating the problem. Nothing else came of it, but it's nice to know that when the fire alarm goes off in the building, we will just sit here and wait to burn.

I hope I can return to work tomorrow, as I need to remind my boss that he said I could have this Friday off for Queen's Homecoming. Though if my insides are still trying to murder me, and I have to go shit cloudy glops of vomit from my ass every half hour, I don't see how I will possibly be able to go.

And now I'm sitting here writing this miserable blog post. I hope that you clicked on this site, noticed there was a new post, and settled in hoping that it would be entertaining and fun. I hope that you found it was boring with a touch of gross, and that you feel as pissed off as I do.

I'm not even going to end with a haiku. I'm just going to end abruptly, like this.