I heated a small non-stick Green Pan. Then I took a can of sardines and - when the pan was hot - I dumped the contents of the entire can into it. I arranged the little fishies so that they rimmed the edge of the pan, with a couple crossing the middle of the ring. Then I cracked two eggs into the oily holes. I grabbed a big handful of organic baby spinach and tossed it on top of the eggs. Then I put the lid on the pan and waited for the whites to set. When the whites were cooked and the yolks still runny, I slid the sardine egg pie onto a plate and sprinkled sea salt on top. Then I broke the yolks and let them run all over the top of the pie, and then I ate it. Now I feel kind of sick because it was a lot of rich protein. I plan to now eat half a jar of olives.
I Now Love Olives
I've never liked olives. They taste weird, salty but somehow also sour and offensive. For some reason, a love of olives has snuck up on me and now it's like I can't live without them. Specifically, I love kalamata olives, preferably the organic kind I get at Planet Organic Market. They're less salty, I've had some kalamatas that are ridiculously salty and very difficult to eat. But last week I bought a jar of these organic olives to try, and they were so delicious I ate the whole jar in one day. The next day I went back and bought five more jars of olives, and now I'm down to my last jar. I also bought a jar of black olives to see if I would like those, and they're okay but not as good as the kalamata olives. I loves the Greeks and their olives.
Pellegrino Contains Crack
As an experiment, I quit drinking pop. It wasn't easy because Coke Zero used to be like my favourite thing ever. But now that I've finally realized how gross and awful aspartame is, and I can't go back to sugar pop because it tastes too sweet and makes my teeth feel fuzzy, I figured the only thing to do was quit drinking pop altogether.
Anytime I wanted a Coke Zero, I would instead pour myself a big cold glass of Pellegrino. I've liked sparkling water ever since we went on our honeymoon to Europe almost four years ago. I usually refrain from drinking it in quantity because it's expensive. We did a sparkling water taste-test years ago when we bought all the different kinds of sparkling water from the grocery store and tried them all. We loved Pellegrino, and we really didn't appreciate Perrier so much. Why does it explode like a goddamn grenade in your mouth?
After a couple months of not drinking pop, I was cleaning the kitchen and saw a lonely can of Coke Zero in the fridge. Cathy had been slowly finishing off my pop supply for me when she and Luke came over for our weekly TV night. I decided I had been so good with not drinking pop for so long that I deserved a treat. I cracked open that can of Coke Zero and took a long swig.
It was so gross. I'm sorry to all you people who still love pop, but it really tastes like strange dirty water that is vaguely sweet and has fizz. I HATED it. Wow, I thought to myself. This is so amazing. I don't have to be a slave to any food or beverage. If I can conquer Coke Zero, I can conquer anything!
Last week I ran out of Pellegrino and the world ended. I've been BESIDE myself, craving Pellegrino. I've been extremely irritable and desperate. I've picked fights with Eric for no reason, just because I was upset about not having Pellegrino. Last night I was such a bitch that after Eric had already bathed Dylan, he insisted that we go to the grocery store to get some. So we did. And now I'm better.
Bright Neon
Our chiropractor recommended that we take a bunch of vitamins. One of them is making our pee insanely bright neon yellow. I've never seen anything like it.
Pervert In Training
We taught Dylan to touch himself when we say the word "penis". It's pretty awesome, but also probably not the best thing in the world.
