Hellooooooo Blogosphere!!So wow, my last post was just over six months ago. Huh. Well when you put it that way, I can understand why people have been writing this blog off as dead.
All I can say is that I pushed out a new human, tearing my vagina in the process (about an inch - "not too bad" according to the nurse. Eff you, nurse!!), and have since been occupied as the primary careprovider for said new human. It is difficult to get up the energy and motivation to blog! Rest assured though, I have thought of you many times. Like the time I was sleeping in my own bed and was awoken by the sound of the baby taking a giant crap over the monitor. And like the time he crapped all the way up his back to his shoulders, and all the way out one leg down his calf and then put his hands in it while I was trying to clean him up. And like the time he vomitted in my mouth. And like the time I had sex with Eric for the first time since the birth, but only did it because it was his birthday and I had forgotten to get him a present, but then realized after I put out that I had promised to let him get laser hair removal on his butt, but it was too late cause I had already let him do it. You can now consider youselves caught up!
But wait, formal introductions: Readers, meet Dylan Luke Johnston. He is a boy. He is cute as hell. He was not named after Beverly Hills 90210. It was an unfortunate coincidence.
But today! Today is an important day, and seems to be an appropriate day to blog. For today is our 3-year anniversary! Later I will be dropping Dylan off at my parents' place, and Eric and I will be going to a seafood restaurant to get shitfaced on oysters.
I am taking this opportunity to change the name of the blog. I feel that three years of marriage in which a baby has been manufactured no longer qualifies as a "Newlywed" stage. "In the Life of Newlyweds" will henceforth be known as "Keeping Up With The Johnstons". Geddit? Geddit??? As in you check the blog to "keep up" with events in our lives!! Clever, yes? Bwafwafwafwafwa!!
And that's all for now! It's a lame post, but it's just the beginning! The beginning of a new beginning of great things to come.
I will end with a pair of haikus that summarize the last 5 months:
"Push", the doctor said
Thus my genitals were torn
Eric says it's fine
"Wahh", wee Dylan cries
Nectar spurts forth from my breasts
Poo, my baby, poo
6 comments:
YOU'RE BACK!!!! Never leave me again.
Seriously? That's it? This is what I waited all these months for? I did enjoy the haikus, but don't think that they make up for 6 months. Cause they don't.
Sniff, those are beautiful poems!
Thank Jeebas! A post! I was fearing that we'd never hear from you again... and that you'd leave us in the suspense of pregnancy!
Don't ever do this to us again!
I've finally been able to shed those tears that I had been reserving all these months in anticipation of your next haiku...lovely work ;)
Yay!
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