Dylan has been teething for about 3 and a half months. It blows because he's basically been soaking every adorable overpriced outfit with drool for that entire time, with nary a tooth to be seen. But a couple weeks ago, Eric put his finger in Dylan's mouth and felt two little pearly whites poking their way through his gums! So cute!!Dylan loves to snatch at people's fingers and hands and haul them into his mouth for gum-relieving gnawage. This was cute when he only had gums, and all that would happen was that saliva would run down your hand and pool on the floor beneath you. That, and I would bark you with your finger ensconced in my son's pie-hole and demand to know whether you had washed your hands with soap for 15 seconds.
But now that he has these two little teethies, it's a whole new ball game. Those cute little lower incisors are effing sharp!! They're like tiny thin jagged blades, thrusting up just enough to pierce the skin and release small rivulets of blood.
The other day, Eric was playing with Dylan. Dylan had snatched up his Dada's hand and was having a grand time cannibalizing a juicy finger.
Eric: Ow!! Oww oww!! Aww, little guy. You know what would be really bad right now? Putting a penis in his mouth.
Carol: .......
I will end with a haiku that expresses my feelings regarding this story:
Oh my effing god
Please don't call Child Services
He sucks only boobs
1 comment:
Haha, this blog post reminds me of when we used to go to the library and Carol would read incest stories to us and we would laugh.
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