On Saturday, Dylan ate a ton of food, as per usual. For breakfast he ate some apple cinnamon oatmeal and plain yogurt with 10% milk fat. For lunch he ate an omelette with kale and green onions and a bowl of blueberries and strawberries. And for dinner he ate 1/4 pound of dijon baked salmon, a head of broccoli, a kiwi fruit, 8 blackberries, and a bit of egg from a shrimp dish my mom made.He then proceeded not to poo for nearly 24 hours. Eric and I were becoming a little concerned because we knew how much stuff was backed up in there. Luckily, around dinnertime last night as I was preparing Dylan's repast of yet more salmon, this time with green beans and peppers, Eric galloped past the kitchen on his way to Dylan's room with the baby held aloft triumphantly in his arms proclaiming happily, "He made a stinky! He made a stinky!!"
A few seconds ticked by, and then Eric called out to me excitedly, "Carol! You have to come see this poo!!" So I dropped what I was doing and ran over. I love looking at poo.
Dylan was lying on the change table gumming a teething toy. Eric pointed at Dylan's diaper which had not yet been taken off. And there, rising majestically out of his butt was a great protruberance. It tented his diaper. It looked like a boner. Except it was made of poo. And it was from the butt...and was coming out of it instead of going in. I immediately christened it the Reverse Gay Poo Boner.
I'm pretty sure this means Dylan needs more fluids.
3 comments:
Why does he need more fluids? And what's a reverse gay poo boner? I feel as though I should be offended somehow.
Hello Gay!
No no! I did not mean to offend, and I apologize for not being clear. The poo was sticking up like a boner, and that's why it's a "poo boner". It was at the bum, like "gay" people put boners at the bum. But it was coming out instead of going in, so it was in "reverse". That's why it's a "Reverse Gay Poo Boner".
I loves the gays and would never want to offend them!
And he needs more fluids because it would probably soften up the poo so it wouldn't be so hard as to be able to tent his diaper. I also imagine it must not feel so great to have to push out a poo that hard and dry.
BEST MOM EVER
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