Two Scoops

I've offered Dylan raisins for snacking several times, and he has not been a big fan. On the mornings when he has no oatmeal because I was too lazy to make it the night before, he gets to eat Eric's Dorset cereal. Eric says he always spits out the raisins. Similarly, when I try to get him to eat raisins as an afternoon snack, he grossly spits out the wet, partially masticated globs onto the area rug where it becomes camouflaged for days.

Last week in an attempt to make him stop fussing, I again offered him raisins. They were the PC Organics Jumbo Thompson Raisins, and they were truly enormous. Unlike their sticky SunMaid counterparts, these abominations were the size of the top joint of my pinky finger.

On this day, Dylan finally decided he liked raisins. He gobbled them down like a little glutton! Then he pointed at the now-empty little raisin box while making his trademark frantic grunting noise. I obliged by getting him another little box of raisins. He hoovered those down as well.

In total, he ate 8 boxes of raisins. That is a lot of raisins. It was probably a really bad idea to let him eat that many raisins, but I was sickly fascinated to see how many boxes of raisins he would actually consume. The answer was 8 boxes.

The next day, he pooped four times. Each of those four times he pooped not piles of raisins, but GRAPES! He must have been swallowing raisins mostly whole, and they reconstituted in his digestive tract to their original grape form.

It was every bit as gross as it sounds, diapers full of soft plump grapes nestled in a loose matrix of poo, some grapes flattened and stuck against his little buttocks. It kinds of creeps me out just talking about it.

I will end with a spontaneous haiku:
I saw you piled there
A grotesque perversion of
The circle of life