Obligatory Post-Holiday Post

I hate it when this happens, when I neglect to post for so long out of sheer laziness that I don't even know how to address the entire fiasco of the holiday or anything that has taken place. I know I bring it on myself. But here we go...

1) The holidays actually weren't so bad
I luckily don't have anything in the calibre of the trainwreck holiday tales of my contemporaries. Tales of torrid sobbing and mobs with pitchforks...not my bag this year! We spent Christmas Eve with my family, Christmas Day with Eric's family, and New Year's Eve with some friends from university. I gots me stinking drunk at the Annual Cooledge Christmas Spectacular, and was too drunk to make the trip back home to North York, thereby requiring Eric to drive me to my mommy's house at 1:30am, calling on my cell to make her wake up and come unlock the deadbolt, then taking off all my clothes and throwing up in her washroom. Other than that, I have not much to say here. Great families, great gifts, great food. Whoo-hoo!

2) The coming and going of the High Definition Boxing Day Purchase
We went to Best Buy on Boxing Day, thinking we'd check out the great savings, and talked ourselves into buying a 40" Samsung LCD HDTV. It was very exciting, and it wouldn't even fit into our car! We had to drive our car to Eric's house, and pick up his family's minivan, then Eric and his dad went and go the TV and brought it back to our condo, then they came back to get me, and later that evening we set it up.

Unfortunately, a flat screen LCD HDTV looks like ass unless you have a high definition cable feed, and high definition monster cables, and a progressive scan dvd player. And since the sound quality on LCD televisions are notoriously bad, you also need a new surround sound system. Eric was sad and disillusioned, and we took the tv back and returned it. Which in restrospect is quite awesome because now it's like we have $2000 of extra money.

3) So much sex
For some unknown magical holiday reason, the sex occurred every day. Every single day. It was like old times, back at Queen's! I actually think that Eric wrote to Santa, and that's what he asked for. It creeped me out, but I felt compelled, and I couldn't stop.

4) Costco rape
Why do we keep going back to Costco? Last week we went to buy a single big box of Swiffer dry refill cloths. We left with $65 worth of Swiffer dry refill cloths and Ziploc freezer bags. How does this happen??

5) ShinyPants
We finally - FINALLY - got to see my best friend and erstwhile lover Peggy for the first time in one and a half years! I love Peggy, I absolutely LOVE her. And to my soul damaging loving jealous horror, that bitch got skinny! She's an intern in hospitals all over New York City. Along with her hot intern boyfriend. They're Grey's Anatomy, they do rounds and see patients and operate on people together. I asked her if they have sex in the oncall room, but she said that no they didn't...but on occasion they go out to the parking lot for "breaks" in the car. But I digress. That bitch got skinny!! A diet of coffee and no sleep has made her shrink into this tiny curvy sexy bombshell, but with unshrunken boobs. I'm going to convince her to go into plastics, and then when she's got her own clinic, I'm going get her to make me look like her.

6) There is no item 6
I wrote the number "6" down and then couldn't think of anything to put in it. So that's the end of the post. I will try never to let such a long break occur again.