Lullaby Parenting Fail

Eric can't carry a tune or keep a beat. This doesn't stop him from enjoying music and singing along to anything he likes, but it does pose some challenges when it comes to singing Dylan bedtime songs. He knows part of an Estonian lullaby his mother used to sing to him, but for the past several months he's been softly singing the Wheels on the Bus song to Dylan. He likes it because you can make it as long or as short as you want, and he started inventing verses with animals once all the usual bus verses are done. For example:

The lion on the bus goes "roar roar roar"

The pig on the bus goes "oink oink oink"

Then he made the questionable decision to invent verses with animals whose sounds he doesn't know, animals like giraffes and hippos. Also, elephants, because although we know the trumpeting sound an elephant makes, it's difficult to sing it in a song. How did he deal with this problem?

The giraffe on the bus goes "giraffe giraffe giraffe"

The hippo on the bus goes "hippo hippo hippo"

The elephant on the bus goes "elephant elephant elephant"

I heard him singing these verses once, and I was all "Did you just teach Dylan that a giraffe says 'giraffe giraffe giraffe'"? But these don't compare with what just happened tonight.

Eric and I were both hanging out with Dylan in his bed and reading books since Lee was being a lovely baby and already sleeping. When we finished all the books, Dylan wanted a song, "Daddy sing a song? No Wheels on the Bus?" Eric turned to me, "I don't know any other songs." I joked, "You know the engineer song" referring to the only song Eric can reliably sing while producing a recognizable melody. It's a song lots of engineers sing, and at Queen's it's a big tradition for engineers to scream this song while drunk, and then all the years take turns singing their unique year verses.

Eric said, "That's kind of inappropriate, isn't it?" I said, "Haha, yeah it is." Then Eric happily started singing in a quiet lullaby voice:

(To the melody of the Battle Hymn of the Republic)

We are we are we are we are we are the engineers

We can we can we can we can demolish forty beers

Drink rum drink rum drink rum drink rum and come along with us

For we don't give a damn for any old man who don't give a damn for us!

Not so bad. But before I could say anything, he tenderly launched into his year verse:

We build the fucking shit that keeps the world a-turning round

We're hardcore motherfuckers and we'll pound you to the ground

The Artsci Farts have got no smarts, the Commies never score

We beat the pit, we are the shit, don't fuck with Sci'04!

That's the last time I plan to make that joke.

(And yes, that's Eric in the middle.)