Nothing is happening

The complaints are pouring in.

"Carol, there's nothing new on your blog."

"If you're not going to update your blog, don't put it in your msn name it's very misleading!"

"Carol, you're too hot for words, how do you do it?"

All are valid comments. So I promised to post something new...and I have nothing. Nada. Nothing is happening in the Life of Newlyweds. Last week, I was kind of down. With my 26th birthday coming up, I haven't been in the best of moods, and I'm convinced I haven't done enough growing. But who wants to write about that?

Last night, I made a giant lemon cheesecake. It must have weighed 10 pounds. I use the people at work as guinea pigs for my culinary adventures, and they all said it was delicious. This means that they couldn't detect the arsenic, which is what I was hoping. Success!

Also last night, Eric did some laundry, including my new Victoria's Secret robe. Then he hung it up to dry on top of our existing robes behind the bedroom door. Who does this? Our existing robes therefore became damp.

This past weekend was Chinese New Year, and for the first time, I was responsible for giving out cash to people. This is a barbarous practice inflicted on newlyweds, for the Chinese are a cruel people. See also 'foot binding'. Only I never had to do that.

My highlights are growing out.

I'm not sleeping well, and the new hairdryer we bought likes to savagely suck in the ends of my hair and not let go, causing me to have to pitifully pull them out, snapping each strand apart, the acrid smell of burning hair hanging like death in the bathroom air. We need to return that piece of crap.

My left knee hurts.

Eric started spelling it "nasagna", which I find cute. My Wusthof knives are heaven to use, it doesn't matter what I'm cutting, it feels like I'm cutting a peeled hard-boiled egg.

And that is about it. I will end with a spontaneous haiku.

Winter makes me ill
Inwardly my soul vomits
Eric cleans it up